I wrote the previous "solutions" page quite some time ago, congratulated myself on my wit, and went on with my life. The other day, as I was working on some course notes, a wild-eyed stranger came into my office.

"I like your 'Find the error' problems." he said.

"Why thank you," I replied. "I am quite proud of them."

"I am glad you didn't give out the solutions. Make the little urchins figure out the problems for themselves. Too many people mollycoddle our youth. That's the trouble with our country today. Too much mollycoddling."

"So you like my solutions page?"

"I didn't say that, sonny-boy. I mean, I would like your solutions page, except that I don't like LIES!"

"Lies?"

"LIES I say, and LIES I mean! FIRST of all, the speech was NOT 'Never give up, never give up, never give up.' It was actually 'Never give in, never give in, never, never, never, never-in nothing, great or small, large or petty - never give in except to convictions of honour and good sense.' AND that wasn't the whole speech; there was more.Your whole story sounds like something from a Toastmaster's speech! Where on Earth did you hear such fiction?"

"Um... in Toastmasters."

At that, the wild-eyed stranger left my office triumphantly. He was correct. The true text of the speech can be found at http://www.winstonchurchill.org. My version is just an urban legend.

...but it does make a better story.

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Copyright 2001 by Douglas Shaw, with thanks to
real-life curmudgeon Joe Palen.